Does this sound familiar: You look at your spouse and wonder if this is even the same person you married… After all, you fight all the time. You never sleep together. You’re not sure you even love them anymore. You feel like cheating on them or wonder if they have been cheating on you. It’s nothing like it was when you first got marriage and were completely devoted to each other, is it? Should you even try to save a marriage like that?
Absolutely. Too many couples give up and move on to the terrible alternative: divorce. Divorce is no picnic. You can’t escape the knowledge that you failed in your marriage. Imagine the disrupted lives. The overwhelming expense. What about the children if you have them? Maybe you think your kids would be better not to have to hear all the fighting. But you know what’s better? Not fighting anymore!
Look, it’s not easy to save a marriage, but it can be done and it is not as hard as you think. I learned how to save a marriage and you can too. Your spouse may have given up already, but the fact that YOU want to find out the answer indicates that you have the number one most important thing going for you: commitment. Good for you.
The key to improving things is to change the way you look at your spouse. Most of us only have a very unclear idea of our partner’s thinking process; very little understanding of what drives this person to fight and argue with us. Do you know that when your spouse gets angry, the anger is often caused by FEAR? Ask yourself, what is he or she afraid of? Is fear making them defensive? You might find that you can sympathize more with them when you understand where they are coming from. Next time your spouse gets angry at you, instead of lashing out at them defensively and making things worse, calmly take a second to ask yourself what is is that your spouse is afraid of? (Don’t ask your spouse this question or they might hit the roof. This is no time to engage them, wait till the “steam” has passed).
What I just showed you – the Anger/Fear connection – is not obvious. It’s something I picked up from Lee Baucom’s book Save The Marriage. That book is full of great insights that can help you understand your spouse much better. This is knowledge that comes from helping thousands of people save their marriages. Believe it or not, most couples have exactly the same issues driving them apart. It is essential to learn from their mistakes so you can improve your relationship. I’ve put together a whole bunch or articles with tips like that and I give it away for free to people who visit my website. Click the link to take a quick peak at my free Marriage Advice articles. They will help you a lot. I’m not going to rehash it all here in one article – get the package and read all the articles and I promise you will be well on your way to being an expert in how to save a marriage.
The best advice I can give you is to learn from the experts. You are not going to save a marriage by reading articles on the internet. You have to arm yourself with proven strategies that are worth their weight in gold. Check out my home page for my own story and why I recommend the products I talk about below. You should also read Does Marriage Counseling Work?—Don’t Believe it if you’re thinking of going down that route.
Please take the time to read the reviews of two products that worked for me and will help to save your marriage, guaranteed. Try them before you spend a lot of money on marriage counseling which in my experience can do more harm than good. These are products that I feel great about endorsing because they literally saved my own marriage and allowed me to understand my wife like never before. The first is Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage and the second is Amy Waterman’s excellent Save My Marriage Today.
These links take you to my review pages. Look over the reviews and then follow the links to read more about them. You will not be disappointed. Your marriage deserves to be saved. You will be astounded by the turn around of your relationship. Good for you for taking the first steps! Good luck – Ed