You bicker. You argue all the time. You yell and fight. Is this the same person you married? So you want to know how to fix a relationship that has gone sour, that seems to be loveless and maybe sexless? The good news is that you can fix your relationship no matter how far gone it seems and even if you are the only one who wants to.
One of the first things to realize is that fighting takes its toll on any relationship. The more you fight, the more emotional distance develops between you. One trick to avoid fighting is to “make an appointment to resolve this” instead of continuing on. As soon as you start to bicker (and your spouse or partner will have to agree to do this) stop and say that you want to make an appointment to continue this argument. Perhaps tonight at 7pm. Do not continue the argument. Go get a breath.
You will quickly find that when 7 rolls around and you try to resolve your disagreement, most of your fights were about silly things. But keep the appointments anyway. This technique is a good way to nip the arguing in the bud so that you can move on with the rebuilding of your relationship. You will be amazed at how much better you seem to get along with your partner when you don’t have bitter (and usually silly) arguments draining your emotional energy.
UNDERSTAND WHAT DRIVES YOUR PARTNER
Of course, when it comes to how to fix a relationship, there is a lot more to it than figuring out how to fight less. Perhaps the most important feature of fixing a relationship is truly understanding your partner and that person’s way of thinking. Women always think men are stupid and men think women are crazy but it’s simply not true. The problem is that the two sexes think differently. You may have an argument with your spouse and think that their point of view is nuts, but the trick is to understand WHY they have that point of view.
This is all pretty heady stuff and you can’t expect to learn how to fix a relationship by reading articles on the internet. You need to lean on the advice of professionals who have helped countless couples save their relationships. You can try counseling (which only works in 10% of cases!!!) but before you do I recommend checking out the pack of articles that I put together and I will send you for free. I used these articles and the marriage saving products created by the authors of these articles to fix my own relationship with my wife, Allison. Perhaps the biggest danger you face in your quest for information is the mis-information you will run into on the Internet. As I have said many times on this blog, bad advice is much worse than no advice. I only have the best advice in my Marriage Advice Articles package so click the link to read about them and sign up.
If you think that marriage counseling is how to fix a relationship, then the same advice goes as before: marriage counselors often do more harm than good. It pays to educate yourself first, before you even meet with a counselor for the first time so that you can evaluate if that therapist knows what they are talking about. If you read my article Does Marriage Counseling Work, you will find out that more often than not, it doesn’t. You can improve your chances if you do what I did – read the articles and also take a look at the Marriage Help Books which I credit with saving my marriage. I want to wish you good luck because most of the time, relationships are worth saving! – Ed
If you want some great free advice sign up for my fantastic email article series. Even though it is aimed at saving marriages, this information can help any relationship that is not working. Give it a try – it’s free! – Ed.